Wicked: The Parody
by Elle Leigh Woods
Summary: Basically, everyone is on one side... You'll have to read it. It's hard to explain. The song in Chapter 8 (the intellegent parts [there is actually a whole song]) were created by one of my friends.
1. Chapter 1

**~the giant hat gets knocks over before Ozians come out~**

_Ozian_: AWWWWWWW C'MON!

_Ozians_:

_GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!_

Random girl in the crowd: WHO'S DEAD?! ***looks around horrified***

Ozians:

_THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!_

Random Girl: OH THANK GOD!

Ozian: Look in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane!

Geeky Ozian 1: It's a comet!

Geeky Ozian 2: IT'S VOLDEMORT!

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Glinda: ***in Voldemort voice*** It's good to see me isn't it?

Ozians: AHHHHHHHHH!

Geeky Ozian 3: ***runs into the knocked over hat super scared***

Glinda: ***laughs and returns to normal voice* **No need to respond. I know I'll get the incorrect answer! Fellow Ozians!

Ozians: YES MY DEAR!

Geeky Ozian 1: I wanna marry you!

Geeky Ozian 2: I wanna marry her! ***begins to fight***

Authoress 1: GET ON WITH IT! WILL YOU TWO CUT IT OUT!

Glinda: ***puts hands over face with pure amusement and continues***

_LET US BE GLAD! LET US BE GREATFUL! LET US REJOYCIFY THAT GOODNESS COULD SUBDUE THE WICKED WORKING OF YOU KNOW WHO_!

#1 fan of Elphaba: BUT SHE WASN'T WICKED!

Ozians: YES SHE WAS!

Authoress 1: Will the Elphaba fans be a dear and so kindly to GET OFF THE STAGE!?

Glinda: ***upset*** LET ME GET ON WITH THE STORY!

_ISN'T IT NICE TO KNOW THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL! THE TRUTH WE BELIEVE ALL BY AND BY! OUT LIVE A LIE! FOR YOU AND..._

Geeky Ozian 3: ***comes out of the hat***

Authoress 2: GLINDA! HOW DID SHE DIE AGAIN?!

Ozian: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!

Glinda: According to the time dragon clock, a bucket of water, thrown by a dear terrified child, happened at the 13th hour. Yes! She is at last dead!

Ozians: ***cheer***

Ozian:

_NO ONE MOUR-_

Frex:I'm off to the assembly dear!

Glinda: AHHHHHHH! I haven't even go to sing my lines! ***cries***

Authoress 1: FREX! YOU'RE EARLY!

Frex: Oh! I'll be back! ***scoots off the stage***

Ozians:

_NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED! NO ONE CRIES THEY WON'T RETURN!_

Geeky Ozian 3: ***on cell phone and hung up* **SOMEONE PUT A LILLY ONE HER GRAVE!

Ozians: NO!

Ozian:

_A GOOD MAN SCORNS THE WICKED!_

Some lady Ozian:

_THROUGH THEIR LIVES OUR CHILDREN LEARN!_

Authoress 1: Actually, there was no grave! She fell through the trap door...

All: AHHHHHHH!

Authoress 1: ...


	2. Chapter 2

Glinda: ***bawls*** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT MY ELPHIE! ***realized what she said and covers mouth quick***

Ozians: ***gasps*** WHO'S ELPHIE?!

Frex: Awwwwww c'mon! WHEN WILL I GO ON?

Authoress 1: Later!

Authoress 2: GLINDA! IS IT TRUE THAT YOU WERE HER FRIEND!?

Ozians: ***gasps***

Ozian Lady: ***hits an Ozian***

Ozian: What the? Authoress 2 stole my line!

Ozian Lady: ***went to authoress 2 and smacks her***

Glinda: No! What are you talking about?

Geeky Ozian 1: You look depressed. Tell Alfred what it is!

Glinda: ***cries*** ELPHIE WAS MY BEST FRIEND! ***bawls***

Ozians: ***gasp***

Random Girl: IF YOU WERE HER FRIEND, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ALL OF OZ ABOUT IT?

Glinda: ***yells back*** I WAS ABOUT TO!

Geeky Ozian 1: What happened?

Glinda: Well... i-it all st-tarted on the very first day of school! It was a long time ago. College had to be the best years of my life!

_**~Lights come down and then Shiz students including a Geeky Student in a shiz outfit capturing Galinda smiling weirdly~**_

Galinda: ***feels awkward and bites lip***

Geeky Student: Hi Galinda! ***is about to kiss***

Galinda: ***backs away*** Ummm... hello?

Geeky Student: I wanna marry you!

Another Geeky Student: I wanna marry her! ***fights** **with the other geeky student***

Galinda: Guys? Guys?!

Geeky Students: ***still fight***

Galinda: GUYS!

Geeky Students: ***stop fighting***

Galinda: I don't even know you two!

Boq: ***comes in and kicks the two guys off the stage into the audience***

Fiyeraba and Glinyero fans: ***screams*** GET THE HECK OFF OF ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEWWWWW! GEEKS!

Galinda: ***giggles with happiness***

Frex: ***wheels Nessa in* **Is it my turn yet?

Authoress 2: WAIT! We haven't sang the song! Galinda! You're high pitch!

Galinda: ***chenos***

_I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!_

Authoresses: Wrong song!

Galinda: Oh...

_DEAR OOOOOOOOOOOLD!_

Students:

_SHIZ-Z-Z-Z-Z-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZ!_

***all stood in silence in a few second***

Authoress 2: We're missing somebody!

Nessa: Who? ***looks around and sees Boq* o **

****Authoresses: ***talk to each other and then realizes* **Elphaba is missing! Elphaba? ELPHABA?

Nessa: ***realizes*** ELPHABA!?

Elphaba: ***comes out pretty quickly* **SOOOOO SORRY! The makeover guy had a date with the costume designer, and then forgot about me. And before the show, he decided to go on his date! I totally hate him now!

Galinda: I like you! ***hugs Elphaba***

Elphaba: UGH! Is this a Gelphie fanfic?! You're crazy voice, clothes, and all that! I feel totally awkward now!

Galinda: ***lets go*** Sorry!

Elphaba: Do you see my skin color?

Galinda: ***looks*** EWWW! GET OFF OF ME!

Elphaba: Stupid blonde...

Frex: ***gives Nessa shoes***

Nessa: ***gasps*** For me?

Frex: And I got somthing for you, Elphaba!

Elphaba: Oh, and what would that be?

Frex: ***gives old boots to her***

Elphaba: Oh great! Another pair! ***sarcastic*** Cool!

Galinda: ***glares*** I'm going to go change now!

M.M.: ***comes out* **Welcome to Shiz University! ***looks at the blonde*** Get back over here!

Galinda: BUT-

M.M.: No "ifs", "ands", or "buts" about it!

Galinda: FINE!

Boq:** *mumbles to himself*** She's perfect!

Elphaba: Excuse me!

M.M.: ***turns around to Elphaba*** OH GOODNESS! Who wants to room with a cabbage!

Galinda: ***raises hand*** I HATE CABBAGE!

Elphaba: I HATE STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE!

M.M.: Hmmmmmm...That was easy! ***points at Galinda*** YOU! Room with the cabbage! ***points at Elphaba* **And you room with the strawberry shortcake!

Galinda: LOOK AT ME! I DON'T HAVE RED HAIR!

Elphaba: But you smell like a strawberry shortcake!

Galinda: ***glares and sniffs self, still glaring and in a hush tone*** I do, don't I?

Boq: That's why I'm sooooooo attracted to you! ***smells her hair***

M.M.: And you! ***points to Nessa*** Room with me!

Nessa: AHHHHHHH! I ROOMING WITH A CREEP! OH MY GOD! SHE'S GROSS!

Elphaba: NO! NO!

Nessa: I WANNA ROOM WITH BOQ!

Boq: ***fake thinks*** Hmmm... NO!


	3. Chapter 3

Elphaba: NO NO NO! NESSA IS ROOMING WITH ME! LET THE BEAUTIFULLY TRAGIC GIRL IN THE CHAIR GOOOOOOOO! ***The chair went out of control to Elphaba's hands***

Boq: Oooh! Fireworks! ***watches as he grabs Galinda and pulls her close***

Galinda: Ummmm... Who are you?

Boq: Why I'm Boq! The tallest Munchkin of all the Munchkins! ***looks at the Dunkin Donut Munchkins* **No offense!

Elphaba: Ummm... no you're not... I am...

Authoress 2: Elphaba! Boq is tall!

Elphaba: ***looks at Boq*** Ummm... He's shorter than my shoulders...

Shiz Student: Wait a minute! ***takes Boq's pants down***

Galinda: ***covers eyes***

Shiz Girls (except for Nessa): ***gasps***

Boq: OH...SHIZ! ***a short man on stilts*** I'M SHORT, OKAY? BUT I GOT YOU AUTHORESSES! HEHEHEHE I PULLED A PRANK!

Authoress 2: I thought that was only on April Fools Day!

M.M.: YOU ARE IN THE SEMINAR!

Elphaba: Wait! What?

Galinda: Huh? OH! ***raises hand*** Madame Morrible?

M.M.: I include you in my sorcery seminar!

Elphaba: So, if I'm in sorcery, and then I'll be there and I'll keep up and then... ***grins widely and weirdly***

Galinda: ***hand still raised*** MADAME MORRIBLE! I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION!

M.M.: Not now dear!

Elphaba: ***stands there looking weird with a crazy smile***

Galinda: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FINE THEN YOU BIG FAT M&M!

M.M.: Sooooooo sorry! I have a bad ear because I'm old!

Galinda: ***glares*** WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?!

Boq: I don't hate you!

Galinda: Ummmm...

Nessa: I don't hate you!

Elphaba: I LOATHE YOU!

Glinda fans: WE LOVE YOU!

Galinda: I FEEL LOVED! ***glares at Elphaba* **Artichoke!

Elphaba: Bubble head!

Galinda: ***glares***

Elphaba: WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT!?

Galinda: ***is furious*** AHHHH! ***runs off***

Boq: MISS GALINDA! ***runs after her***

Nessa: ***chases Boq***

Elphaba: ***standing there thinking things over again* **Okay! I get into the socery seminar, and I'll do magic and then... ***gasps* **

_THE WIZARD! AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII_

**_~7 minutes later~_**

_IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!_

***collapses of lack of air***

Galinda: ***in her room screaming so loud the the whole campus could hear* **AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH!

Boq & Nessa: ***run out onto the stage and back off on the other side***


	4. Chapter 4

Authoress 2: Someone get an inhaler!

Stage Person: ***runs to Elphaba and puts an inhaler in her mouth and until Elphaba got back into character***

Elphaba: Thank you!

Authoress 1: GALINDA! GET OUT HERE! THE DUET SONG IS NEXT!

Galinda: OKAY OKAY! ***comes out furious***

Elphaba: Who are you writing to, Miss Galinda? You're pretties?

Galinda: My parents! Who are you writing to? You're garden friends?

Elphaba: My dear father!

Galinda: Oh...

Elphaba: You expect my dear father is green too, don't you? Well that's racist!

Kate:

_Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes!_

Authoress 1: Wrong musical!

Kate: Oh! ***leaves***

Galinda: Can we carry on?

Elphaba: BLONDE!

**_~music starts~_**

Galinda:

_What is this feeling so sudden and new?_

Elphaba:

_I felt the moment! I laid eyes on you!_

Galinda:

_My pulse is rushing!_

Elphaba:

My head is reeling!

Galinda:

_The toilet's flushing! Oh, what is this feeling?_

Authoress 1: Wrong lyrics!

Shiz Students: ***comes out to hit Elphaba with books***

Galinda: ***is confused***

Boq: We're on you're side!

Glinda fans: Us too!

Galinda: OH! ***smiles*** Thanks Biq!

Boq & Boq fans: IT'S BOQ!

Elphaba: Will you all cut that out!

Shiz Students:

_Loathing! loathing! loathing! WE LOATHE IT ALL!_

Galinda:

_THERE'S A STRANGE EXILIRATION!_

Elphaba: ***scares her* **

_BOO!_

Galinda:

_AHHHHHH!_

Elphaba: ***cackles***


	5. Chapter 5

Boq: ***sits next to Galinda***

ShenShen: HEY MUNCHKIN! My spot! Go sit with the guacamole and other munchkins over there!

Boq: Fine! ***slowly walks over to Elphaba, Nessa, and the others* **

Galinda: Hey ShenShen! OML! I love your nails!

ShenShen: Thanks! I got a manicure and a pedicure before school started back!

Boq: ***sits* **

Nessa: AMEN! ***thanks the Unnamed God* **

Elphaba: ...

Boq: ***feels awkward***

D.D.: ***already is silence and yells loudly* **SILENCE, CLASS! SILENCE!

Galinda: ***raises hand*** I have a question!

D.D.: Yes Glinda?

Galinda: I was wonderi... IT'S GA-LINDA! WITH A GA! ***cries***

Boq: ***runs to Galinda and holds her***

ShenShen: Munchkin Geek! Get lost!

Authoress 1: ShenShen, you're fired!

ShesShen: ***gets up*** Hmph! ***walks off stage***

D.D.: We have no lesson today, let's turn around the chalkboard and see...

All: ***gasp***

Boq: ***reads it aloud* **ALL COWS EAT GRASS! ***is offended* **Some eat hay and grain!

D.D.: Oh! Wrong writing! ***tuns it over***

All: ***gasp***

Pfannee: Voldemort rises!

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Galinda: ***bawls***

Harry Potter: WHERE IS HE! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! Avara Kedavera! ***kills Pfannee***

Galinda: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H! ***runs out of class***

Boq: GALINDA! ***runs after her***

Nessa: BOQ! ***chases him***

Elphaba: ***pushes Harry Potter into the orchestra pit***

D.D.: Class! Back here! Wrong writing! ***turns it over***

All: ***gasp***

Galinda: ***screams from her dorm room and the whole campus hears... again* **AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!

Boq & Nessa: ***run on stage and back off on the other side terrified***

Elphaba: ***read aloud*** STUPID MEATY ANIMALS SHOULD NOT BE SEEN OR HEARD! P.S. MUNCHKINS ARE CREEPY!

All: ***leaves***

Boq: ***comes back on stage*** HEY! ***leaves***

D.D.: CLASS DISMISSED!

Elphaba: Umm... the class already left! Are you okay?

D.D.: Yeah. I'm okay!

Elphaba: I can't hear you!

M.M.: ***backstage*** ME EITHER!

D.D.:

_Elphaba, somthing Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ad is happening in Oz!_

Elphaba: ***smiles and laughs, not believing*** What?

D.D.:

_SOMTHING BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDD! Is happening in Oz!_

To the animals...Like me!

Elphaba: Pfft! You have to be my favorite teacher! You're really funny!

_NOTHING BAD IS HAPPENING IN OZ!_

D.D.: Believe me! It is! Here's a book of the future! read this! ***gives Elphaba the script***

Elphaba: ***reads through everything*** OH NO!

D.D.: ***nods***

Elphaba: ***leaves***

Authoress 1: YOU GET BACK ON THE STAGE OR I'LL BITCH SLAP YOU!

Boq: ***backstage*** Harsh...

Galinda: ***laughs backstage***

Elphaba: ***cries and hits Galinda***

Galinda: ***cries***

Elphaba: Did I just hit you!?

Galinda: YES YOU DID!

Elphaba: WHY?

Galinda: ASK THE AUTHORESSES!

Elphaba: ***to Authoress 1*** WHY DID I HIT HER!?

Authoress 1: I think you were mad at her.

Elphaba: Since I'm mad at her! Can we sing the loathing song again!?

Authoress 2: NO!

Elphaba: Let me sing another song!

_LET'S GATHER AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND SING OUR CAMPFIRE SONG! OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G-SONG!_

Authoress 1: NOT THAT ONE! It's annoying!

Elphaba: Okay! Where is my book!


	6. Chapter 6

All: ***go out on stage to look for book***

Fiyero: ***arrives* **

Avaric: ***takes cart in Elphaba's direction***

Fiyero: ***is asleep lazing around with sun glasses on***

Avaric: ***is about to hit Elphaba***

Elphaba: HEY! I'M THIS CLOSE TO FINISH THE CHAPTER OF "_BRAS AND BROOMSTICKS_"! DANG IT! YOU! ***slams book on the cart*** WAKE UP YOU!

Fiyero: ***snores***

Elphaba: ***pushes the cart***

Fiyero: ***wakes up and he falls in the orchestra pit***

Audience member fangirl: AWWWWW C'MON! Why do we get the geeks and the famous hunks go to the pit?

Harry Potter: Welcome to the club kid!

Galinda: ***screams because she hears Harry Potter and sits by the statue that is on the stage***

Fiyero: ***gets up and then came to Galinda*** HELLO!

Elphaba: OH NO! ***leaves***

Boq: MISS GALINDA!

Galinda: ***cries*** H-h-hi.

Fiyero: I thought you knew who I was?

Galinda: ***realizes*** Fiyero? Is that you?

Fiyero: I'm Fiyero Tiggular! The Winkie Hunk Prince of the Vinkus! And it is my...

Galinda: ***hugs Fiyero***

Boq: GOD! I WANNA BE POPULAR!

Nessa: You're popular to me!

Boq: Fiyero! Can you teach me how to be popular?

Fiyero: You dance through life!

Boq: What?

Fiyero:

_You see, the trouble with school is they always try to teach the wrong lesson. Believe me I've been kicked out of enough of them to know. They want you to become less callow, less, umm, shallow, but I say why invite stress in. Stop studying strife and learn to live the unexamined life._

Boq: Well! I love the book Guacamole was reading before you ran over it! And yes! I would love that!

Fiyero: What? You like reading?

Boq: Yes! And I want to be in the popular crowd!

Fiyero: ***shakes head and laughs*** That's not a good mix.

Boq: Here's the book Guac was reading! ***gives it to him*** It has women! _"Bras and Broomsticks" _

Fiyero: The title sounds good, but there's too many words!

Boq: Just look at the last chapter!

Fiyero: ***opens book to last chapter***

Boq: ***to Galinda*** You look amazing today!

Galinda: Thanks! ***to Fiyero* **So what were y... ARE YOU READING?!

Fiyero: Just the last chapter! ***finishes*** This is cool! But boring ***throws it to the light lampers***

Designer: YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT!

Elphaba: ***backstage*** AND THE BOOK TOO!

Galinda: ***giggles***

Fiyero: ***to Galinda*** Anyways, There's a party tonight at the Ozdust Ballroom. Do you want to come with me?

Galinda: Of course!

Dancer: ***jumps on Fiyero* **

Galinda: GET OFF OF HIM! ***pushes the dancer off* **HE'S MINE!

Dancer: ***thrown in the audience***

Fiyero: So, I'll pick you up around 8:00, right!?

Nessa: ***sits away from them***

Boq: Galinda...

Audience member: FINALLY SOMEONE HOT!

Galinda: ***smiles at Fiyero*** I'm going to go get ready! ***runs off stage***

Boq: GALINDA! ***goes after Galinda***

Fiyero: ***stops Boq*** I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

Boq: Why not!? ***to Nessa, hesitates*** Would you like to go to the dance with me?

Nessa: YES!

Boq: ***wheels her offstage emotionless***

Elphaba: ***comes back on* **What did I miss!

Fiyero: EVERYTHING!

Elphaba: You stupid jerk! You're still paying for the book!

Nessa: ***backstage* **THANK YOU GALINDA!

Elphaba: What?

Galinda: ***backstage also*** WHAT DID I DO?

Nessa: You gave me Boq! I'm going to the party!

Galinda: Oh, you're welcome!

Authoress 1: Elphaba! Where's your hat!

Elphaba: What hat?

Galinda: ***gives the pointy pink hat to Elphaba*** HERE IT IS!

_YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER! YOU'RE INVITED TO THE PARTY!_

Elphaba: OH NO! NO WAY!

Galinda: Wrong hat! ***pulls the blue one out of the hat***

Elphaba: I'M TAKING THAT ONE!

Galinda: EWWWWWW! ***pulls the black one out***

Authoress 2: GET ON WITH IT!

Elphaba: OKAY!


	7. Chapter 7

Galinda: ***dances with Fiyero* **This is some party! ***Party Rock Anthem comes on* **I HATE THIS SONG!

Conductor: I HIRED A D.J.!

Nessa: Put on "_You make me feel_"!

Galinda: Yeah!

Nessa:

_LA LA LA LA LA! LA LA LA LA LA!_

Fiyero: Put on "_Give Me Everything_"!

D.J.: ***puts on "****_Give Me Everything_****"***

Galinda: ***still dancing with Fiyero***

M.M.: ***comes in*** MISS GALINDA!

Galinda: I'll be right back! ***walks to M.M.* **WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU BIG FAT M&M?

M.M.: I have somthing for you! You are in the sorcery seminar in my class! ***gives a pink wand to Galinda***

Galinda: Oooh! PINK! Ahhh- Wait... why?

M.M.: That was your roomate's idea!

Galinda: Why would she do anything nice for me?

Elphaba: Turn on "_Bad Romance_"!

D.J.: ***turns ****_"Bad Romace"_**** on***

Galinda: I LOVE THIS SONG!

Elphaba: ***comes out in a frock with a hat on***

Galinda: ***goes back over to Fiyero***

Elphaba: ***dances to ****_"Bad Romance"_**** with her dance* **

All: ***laugh***

Elphaba: ***dances***

Fiyero: Who invited her?

Galinda: I did...

Fiyero: Why?

Galinda: She... She's my roommate...

Fiyero: Awwww...Well! You didn't do anything wrong!

Galinda: ***smiles***

Fiyero: What?

Galinda: Nothing!

Fiyero: Go to her! Cheer her up!

Galinda: Okay! ***runs over and dances with Elphaba***

Elphaba: ***stops***

Galinda: WHY DID YOU STOP?

Elphaba: What?! You want me to dance!?

Galinda: Yes! So I don't feel stupid!

Elphaba: ***starts doing the Elphie***

Galinda: ***follows moves***

Elphaba: ***starts moving and then looks at Galinda's sad face* **Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm...Why are you so emotional!?

Galinda: ***cries* **I'M BIPOLAR, OKAY?!

Elphaba: Oh. ME TOO! I'm sorry I called you a bubble head!

Gailnda: I'm sorry I called you all those names!

Elphaba:  
_LET'S DANCE!_

Boq: THAT'S MY LINE!

All:

_DANCING THROUGH LIFE! DOWN AT THE OZDUST!_

Fiyero: THAT WAS MINE!

Galinda: ***randomly starts dancing with Boq***

M.M.: ***comes and dances old moves***

All: ***quickly runs out of the stage***

_WHEN WE'RE DANCING THROUGH!_

Galinda: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Authoress 2: Oh God! Why?


	8. Chapter 8

**~girls enter bedroom and sit down on beds~**

Galinda: You dance amazing!

Elphaba: I did dance when my dear father begged to take classes!

Galinda: Cool!

Authoress 2: ...***eats taco***

Galinda: ***hears crunching and looks around***

Elphaba: It's not me!

Galinda: WHO EVER IS MAKING THAT NOISE, PLEASE STOP!

Authoress 2: ***eats taco* **YUM! I'm gonna buy more during intermission!

Galinda: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE FOOD IN HERE!

Authoress 2: I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT! I'M THE AUTHORESS!

Galinda: ***has mad face and then goes back to a happy one* **Now where were we, Elphaba? Oh yeah! We were talking about your dance!

Elphaba: Okay! I danced this one when I was at the funeral!

Galinda: A funeral?

Elphaba: My father would never let me go to parties. He thought my IQ level would go down.

Authoress 2: No wonder! Are you thirsty?

Elphaba: What? Am I thirsty?

Authoress 2: Galinda! Are you thirsty?

Galinda: No.

Elphaba: I have an idea!

Galinda: What?

Elphaba: Let's tell secrets!

Galinda: OOOOHH! ***claps excitedly* **LET ME GO FIRST! ***gets on Elphaba's bed* **Fiyero...And...I...Are...Going...To...Be...MARRIED! ***scares Elphaba off the bed***

Elphaba: ***smiles and confused*** What? Are you sure? You've known each other for... less than 14 hours.

Galinda: OH YEAH! He doesn't know yet! And I have another secret!

Authoress 1: What is it!?

Elphaba: ***dies of anticipation* **

Galinda: I LOVE CHICKEN! Thanks a lot stupid authoress! Now I'm hungry!

Authoress 2: Sucks to be you!

Elphaba: My turn?

Galinda: Oh yeah! ***looks under the pillow* **I'm thirsty! ***pulls out the little green bottle***

Elphaba: Don't drink that!

Galinda: TELL ME WHY!

Elphaba: It was my mother's. She passed away years ago. So I kept it safe.

Galinda: I'm sorry! How did she die!?

Elphaba: Childbirth. When my mother was carrying Nessa, My father made her chew milkflowers. Nessa came too soon, with her legs all tangled up. Our mother never woke. My father said it was my fault, but oh well.

Galinda: But that was you father's fault for making her chew those milkflowers. That is a good secret, but it's not true. ***looks at the window and then sings* **

_WHAT'S THE TIME? WELL IT'S GOTTA BE CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT! MY BODY'S TALKING TO ME. IT SAYS TIME FOR DANGER!_

Fiyero: ***jumps on the bed***

_TAKE ME OUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT TONIGHT!_

Elphaba: HEY! OUT OF OUR ROOM!

Galinda:

_MEOW!_

Authoress 1: You know there are kids 10 and under watch this, right?

Elphaba: Well, you should have thought of that when you said to get back on stage when I was with D.D..

Fiyero: ***leaves the stage***

Galinda: ***waves* **Bye Sweetie!

Elphaba: ***waves*** I WANNA BET!

Galinda: Bet what?

Elphaba: Truth or dare?

Galinda: Dare...

Elphaba: I dare you to be intelligent!

Galinda: ***groans*** Okay! But on one condition! I'll make you popular!

Elphaba: Deal! ***shakes Galinda's hand***

Galinda: Okay! Then you go first!

Elphaba: Okay! ***sings* **

_Whenever I see someone with less IQ than I,_

_and let's face it, who doesn't have less IQ than I?_

_My tender brain tends to start to bleed._

_And when someone starts to fail at math,_

_I simply have to direct their path!_

_In order to show them exactly what they need!_

_And even in your case,_

_Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face,_

_Don't worry, I'm determined to make YOU succeed!_

_Follow my lead,_

_And yes indeed, you will be..._

_INTELLIGENT!_

_You're going to be intelligent!_

_I'll put you right on track, ,_

_When you start to slack,_

_And teach you how to read and write,_

_Yes!_

_I'll show you what books to peruse!_

_How to find your muse!_

_Everything that really counts to be..._

_INTELLIGENT!_

_I'll help you be intelligent!_

_If you're willing to learn,_

_There's so much you'll earn,_

_Knowing the vocab you've got to know._

_So let's start,_

_'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go!_

Galinda: ***sings***

_Don't be offended by my frank analysis!_

_Think of it as personality dialysis!_

_Now that I've chosen to become a pal,_

_a sister, and adviser,_

_there's nobody wiser._

_Not when it comes to..._

_POPULAR!_

_I know about popular._

_And with an assist from me to be who'll you be,_

_instead of dreary who you were!_

_...Well are_

_There's nothing that can stop you from becoming populer!_

Galinda & Elphaba:

_Lar!_

_LA LAAA LA LAAAAAAAA_

_I'm gonna make you Pop~U~Lar (Intel~Li~Gent)!_

Elphaba:

_When I see dim-witted maids,_

_With uproariously horrible grades,_

_I remind them on their own they have_

_To - read - of_

Galinda:

_Celebrated heads of state,_

_Or specially great communicators!_

_Did they have brains or knowledge?_

_Don't make me laugh!_

Galinda & Elphaba:

_OF COURSE THEY DID (THEY WERE POPULAR)!_

_Please!_

_It's all about intelligence (popular)!_

Galinda:

_It's not about aptitude!_

_It's the way your viewed!_

_So it's very shrewd to be..._

Elphaba:

_Very very popular_

_like YOU!_

Galinda: ***speaks* **I-I... I have to go!

Elphaba: ***looks at self in mirror being all preppy***

_And though you complain,_

_You think it's obviously lame,_

_But I know clandestinely,_

_You're gonna thank me one day!_

_For your first great new A!_

_Aah!_

Galinda: ***comes back in***

Galinda & Elphaba:

_LA LAAA LA LAAAAAA_

_You'll be popular (intelligent)!_

_Just not quite as popular (intellegent) as MEEEE!_


	9. Chapter 9

Elphaba: ***comes out beautiful and tired from the all night makeover***

Fiyero: ***looks at the beauty***

Galinda: ***is smart and is actually doing work, which makes Boq even more attracted to her***

Authoress 2: UMMMMMM...Galinda! You're not in this scene!

Galinda: Oh!

Authoress 2: OUT!

Galinda: MEANIES! ***cries***

Boq: ***went after her***

Elphaba: ***yawns and flips hair*** TOSS...TOSS!

Authoress 1: What's going on with you?

Elphaba: I'm tired! I can't wait til' the intermission!

_**~meanwhile~**_

Galinda: ***runs back stage into dressing room***

Boq: ***follows and knocks on door*** Galinda?

Galinda: GO AWAY!

Boq: ***opens door and attempts to comfort Galinda***

Galinda: ***bawls*** I think I made a mistake about Nessa!

Boq: ***holds Galinda in arms and comforts her***

Galinda: ***cries into Boq's shirt* **I think I made a mistake about Nessa...

_**~meanwhile~**_

Elphaba: ***is startled by Fiyero*** What!

Fiyero: Nothing! You look Galindafied! ***flirts*** TOSS TOSS! FLIP FLIP!

Elphaba: ***yawns*** Yeah yeah! I made her read, too!

Fiyero: You serious?

Authoress 1: Get on with the story!

D.D.: ***walks in*** Class? I'm going on vacation! Here's you substitute! BYE! ***runs out***

Elphaba: NO! ***sits down yawning***

Fiyero: Are you oka...

Elphaba: I'm tired!

Fiyero: Wait til' intermission and then... what are you doing?

Elphaba: ***puts head on him*** I wanna take a nap!

Fiyero: It felt like you're caught in your own poppies!

Elphaba: ***is asleep***

Fiyero: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm...Authoresses! She's asleep on me!

Authoress 1: Let's get an understudy! Standby!

Maureen Johnson: Only thing to do is jump over the moon!

Authoress 2: Is that a clone of Elphaba?

Nancy Tremine: Ugh! All of you're outfits are ridiculous! Let's get you guys in a normal fashion! ***to Maureen*** And your's daring!

Authoress 2: No offence, but why are you using understudies who look like Idina Menzel!

Idina Menzel:** *comes in***

Fans: ***cheer***

Idina Menzel: I'M BACK!

Fans: ***cheer***

Idina Menzel: I MISS THIS STAGE!

Maureeen & Nancy: WHAT?!

Maureen, Nancy, & Idina: ***fights and goes off stage fighting***

Authoress 2: Okay... ***looks over to the scene***

Elphaba: ***still asleep***

Fiyero: ***is a pillow*** She's still sleeping!

Authoress 1: THROW HER!

Fiyero: OKAY! ***throws Elphaba on the ground***

Elphaba:  
_I'M WIDE AWAKE!_

Authoress 2: Okay! Now stay awake!

Sub: Hello there students! Look at this cage! There's a lion cub!

Lion Cub: I can talk you know!

Sub: What's your name son!

Lion Cub: I'm Simba!

Sub: OH! Nice to meet you! NOW YOU'RE DEAD!

Authoress 1: Hold it! Hold it! ***gives another cage*** This is a different cub! I'm taking this one with me!

Sub: Okay! Fine! ***pulls out a giant needle***

Elphaba: OH NO! OH OZ! ***screams***

Students & Sub: ***lost control***

Fiyero: ***grabs the cage and runs***

Elphaba: You care about animals too?

Fiyero: OH YEAH! ESPECIALLY LIONS!

Elphaba: ***mutters*** Mind reader!

Fiyero & Elphaba: ***go far away and let the lion cub run free***

Fiyero: ***wipes forehead*** That was a close one!

Elphaba: Did you think I thought it wasn't? Because it was! NOW LEAVE!

Fiyero: What about the cub!?

Lion Cub: ***escaped and starts biting the conductors head***

Elphaba: It will be fine! It can manage on it's own!

Fiyero: Can I tell you a secret?

Elphaba: What?

Fiyero: You're not that smart, and I love you! ***leaves***

Elphaba:  
_Hands touch_  
_Eyes turn_  
_Sudden silence_  
_Stomachs churn_  
_Cold sweat with a romantic heart_  
_I could be that girl, but I'm not that smart..._

_Bad dreams go to far_  
_People lose sight of who they are_  
_I remember the rush of soy_  
_There is that one boy_  
_But I'm not that smart..._

Galinda: ***walks through scene with Boq helping her understand the Great War of Oz***

Authoress 2: Hey! You're not even in this scene!

Galinda: I'm not? ***tears***

Elphaba: Oh...no!

Boq:** *grabs her hand without being seen by Nessa and leads her backstage so she can learn***

Elphaba: What was I saying? OH YEAH!

_Galinda is my best friend! WITHOUT FIYERO!_ ***destroys a random cello and then realizes that Boq and Galinda were together*** Wait... Is Galinda and Boq having an affair with their dates? So... I can get Fiyero!

Nessa: ***shows up out of no where*** THEY WHAT?!


	10. Chapter 10

All: UH OH!

Elphaba: ***cackles*** I was joking Nessa! But I was hoping you would make that face! It was priceless! ***laughs***

Nessa: Okay! ***leaves***

Boq: ***comes back on stage with Galinda*** Is she gone?!

Elphaba: Yes!

Boq: THANK GOD!

M.M.: Miss Elphaba!

Elphaba & Boq: Oh no!

Galinda: What do you need you big fat M&M?

M.M.: I have mail here for the three of you!

Galinda: ***gasps***

Elphaba: What is it!?

Boq: ***opens an envelope*** Ugh! Another letter from my parents! JOY!

Galinda: ***opens a package*** OOOOOOHHH! THE DOLL HOUSE I ORDERED 5 YEARS AGO! ***randomly plays with it***

Boq:** *is amazed by the doll house and plays with it with Galinda***

Elphaba: Ummmm...Guys? You are making your young fans jealous!

Young G(a)linda fan: I WANT ONE!

Boq: LET'S TAKE THIS BACKSTAGE!

Galinda: OKAY!

Boq & Galinda: ***take doll house backstage and accidentally drop it on a Nessa doll***

Boq: ***sarcastically*** Oops!

Galinda: ***giggles***

Nessa: Oooh! Dollies! I wanna play!

Galinda: Well, I have to go study, so go ahead! JUST DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!

Boq: What are you learning about?** *winks at Galinda where Nessa doesn't see***

Galinda: Biology!

Boq: I LOVE BIOLOGY! Can I help?

Galinda: Sure!

Authoress 2: I GOT A 70 ON BIO REGENTS!

Boq: That's nice!

Elphaba: ***looks in the envelope*** GALINDA! GET YOU'RE PRETTY PINK BUTT OVER HERE NOW!

Galinda: My butt's pretty?

Elphaba: YES! NOW GET OVER HERE!

Galinda: ***comes over with Boq***

Boq: WHAT IS IT!?

Elphaba: I GOT A LETTER FROM...THE WIZARD! FINALLY! ***cackles***

Galinda: YAY! WHAT DOES IT SAY?

Elphaba: What is this? ***opens a second envelope and hears party rock anthem blasting***

Galinda: ***covers ears*** AHH! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!

Elphaba: ***closes envelope and throws it at a violin player in the pit***

Violinist: OUCH!

Elphaba: Sorry! ***reads the letter and then stands on one foot, places a glass of chocolate milk and sings the bikini bottom national anthem***

Galinda & Boq: ***are confused***

Authoress 2: ***joins***

Authoress 1: What are you doing?

Elphaba: The letter told me to do this!

Galinda & Boq: OH!

Nessa: ***wheels herself beside Boq*** What's going on guys?

All:  
_WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ!_

Galinda: Wait! We're? Elphaba is the one going!

Boq: Yeah!

Nessa: ***gasps*** Good luck Elphaba! SAFE JOURNEY! ***leaves***

Elphaba: NESSA! WAIT!

Boq: Let her go! I'll see you later Galinda! ***leaves***

Galinda: ***runs after Boq and gives him a hugs and gets back on stage***

Elphaba: Where's Fiyero? I saw him the other day!

Galinda: I don't know. Ever since you made me more intelligent, I've been hanging out with Boq!

Elphaba: I think Fiyero is cute and nice, but... ummmm... HE'S THINKING!

Galinda: ***nods*** I know! He kinda scares me now!

Authoress 1: HOLD IT! HOLD IT! How does he think when he's brainless! I mean...HOW?!

Galinda: I don't know!

Authoress 2: Ever since...

Authoresses, Elphaba, & Galinda: He cared for that old goat!

Elphaba: But I'm still confused!

Authoresses, Elphaba, & Galinda: ***uses confused faces to the audience***

Galinda: WAIT! Dr. Dillamond went on Vacation!

Elphaba: After that!

Galinda: What happened?

Elphaba: Oh yeah! You weren't there! Okay! There was a lion cub and then Fiyero and I saved him! Then we both developed something!...So it's a long story!

Galinda: OH! So what were we talking about? OH YEAH!

Fiyero: ***runs on stage carrying poppies*** I have something for you! ***gives Elphaba flowers***

Galinda: ***faints***

Elphaba: ***becomes all sleepy again*** For me?

Fiyero: Yes you! ***gives them to her***

Elphaba: ***looks at them and falls in the floor asleep***

Fiyero: ***is confused***

Galinda: ***rolls over***

Fiyero: Galinda? Elphaba?


	11. Chapter 11

_**~SNOW COMES DOWN~**_

Fiyero: ***wakes Galinda and Elphaba***

Galinda: ***wakes*** Is the tooth fairy here?

Elphaba: ***yawns and sits up*** That was the best sleep I ever had!

Fiyero: Hi girls! Time for bacon!

Galinda: Bacon!

Actor: ***comes out with bacon***

Galinda: BACON!

Actor: Want some?

Galinda: ***drools and nods***

Actor: ***gives a piece to her***

Galinda: ***takes it and eats it*** THANK YOU!

Actor: ***turns plate to Fiyero and Elphaba before Galinda eats it all***

Fiyero: No thanks!

Elphaba: I'm a vegetarian!

Authoress 2: HA! No wonder you eat too many vegetables! _(drum beat)_

Galinda: ***giggles and sees Fiyero flirting with Elphaba*** Are you having an affair?

Fiyero: ... ***gives in*** Yes. I'm so sorry!

Galinda: OH! It's okay! I am too! ***takes plate of bacon***

Fiyero: Elphaba! Ummmm...I was thinking!

Elphaba: I thought you would be!

Fiyero: About the lion cub and all that!

Elphaba: Me too!

Galinda: I wanna change my name! It's long! I want it to be Glinda!

Elphaba: And I was thinking about lo... ***a real train came into the theatre and ran over some people in an audience***

Audience member: MY LEG! MY LEG!

Train: ***stops on stage***

Fiyero: Well! Okay! ***kisses Elphaba and kisses Galinda's forehead*** Safe journey! ***leaves***

Glinda: OH NO! ***cries***

Elphaba: Don't cry, Glinda!

Glinda: ***has tears*** Tell Boq I said I love him! ***covers mouth because Fiyero didn't know***

Elphaba: He's gone!

Audience member: Ummmm...I see somebody in a Shiz uniform that was ran over by the train!

Glinda: ***has a worried expression*** WHAT?

Audience member: It's...Boq!

Glinda: ***bawls***

Audience member: He's dead! Is someone here a preacher?

Glinda: ***screams with horror and drops to the floor bawling***

Elphaba: ***hugs Glinda***

Glinda: ***clings to Elphaba*** I'm changing my name back to Galinda! It's too hard to remember and Boq was always got it right!

Audience member: Wait! My mistake! It was the geeks who were thrown into the audience!

Elphaba: Hey! I have two tickets for the train ***winks***

Galinda: ***relieves and responds to what Elphaba said*** Tickets to where?

Elphaba:

_I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE! I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE!_

Galinda: *screams of happiness* AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Elphaba: TO THEE EMERALD CITY!


	12. Chapter 12

All:  
_ONE WEIRD DAY IN THE SAPPHIRE CITY!_

Elphaba: Are we at the wrong city!?

Glinda: ***looks around*** Everything's blue!

All:  
_ONE BAD DAY! IN THE RUBYISH CITYYYYYYYYYYYY!_

Elphaba: Ummmm...THIS IS NOT EMERALD!

Glinda: Where's the castle?

All:  
_ONE GREAT DAY IN THE PINKISH CITY! ONE LONG DAY FULL OF SO MUCH TO DO!_

Glinda:  
_AND IN EVERY WAY THAT YOU TALK IN THE CITY, THERE'S SOMEONE NEW, TALKING TO YOU, ABOUT SOME GOOD NEWS!_

Elphaba: THAT DOES NOT FIT

Glinda: Sorry...

All:  
_AND THE DAY'S THROUGH!_

Authoress 2: What the heck?

Elphaba: I know!

Lighting Man: Oh! Sorry! Silly me! I thought we were doing Spiderman the Musical: Turn off the Dark!

Glinda: ***is confused*** What are we doing again?

Elphaba: Hold it! Is this "Wicked"?

Others: Yes...Why?

Elphaba: I thought I was doing "Little Shop of Horrors" since I'm the plant!

Authoress 1: ...PLANT LADY! QUICK! GET WATER!

Glinda: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Elphaba: ***runs away***

Lighting Guy: ***switches to emerald*** Here we go!

All: ***chorused***  
_THANK YOU!_

Elphaba: "Wicked"! LOST YOU'RE BLONDE BRAIN!

Glinda:  
_IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN!_

Boq: ***backstage***  
_IF I ONLY HAD A HEART!_

Authoress 2: You didn't lose it yet!

Boq: Mine's aching!

Glinda: YOU DO HAVE A HEART! IT'S CONJOINED WITH MINE! ***covers mouth quickly and whispers*** Is Nessa here? ***is scared***

Authoress 1: NO! SHE'S IN A POTTY WITH A WHEELCHAIR!

Glinda: Good!

Elphaba: Hold it! Hold it! You mean she's wetting her wheelchair? GROSS!

Glinda: ***thinks*** EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Fiyero: Since she's doing that! I'm going to wet my pants!

Glinda & Elphaba: EWWWW! ABSOLUTELY NOT! GROSS!

Authoress 2: GO USE A BATHROOM!

Fiyero: I can't! Nessarose is in there! And she took a long time! What if she's...

Elphaba: DON'T EVEN SAY THAT!

Glinda: That's the women's restroom!

Fiyero: They haven't been invented in Oz yet! Not until 8 years!

Glinda: ***smacks hand on forehead*** You're so stupid!

Elphaba: GOT YOU'RE BRAIN BACK!?

Glinda: Hmmmm...Wait! Was I saying something bad!

Authoress 2: ALRIGHT! THAT'S IT! SOMEONE GET A DOCTOR!

Glinda: Why? A doctor is so unnecessary if I'm smart.

Doctor: ***runs on stage to Glinda*** Any problems?

Elphaba: She doesn't remember! Because of her stupid brain!

Glinda: ***fell asleep and has the most random dream***

**Doctor****: *looks in her brain* Hmmmm...MMM HMMM! MMM HMMM! MMM HMM! Okay! She actually doesn't have a brain!**

**Audience****: GET ON WITH IT! YA'LL ARE TAKING FOREVER!**

**All****: *gasps***

**Doctor****: There's a huge bubble in there which was a bubble brain!**

**Glinda****: What's today mean?**

**Doctor****: *puts thing in Glinda's ear***

**Authoress 2****: OH GOD! WILL YOU DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE! IT'S REVOLTING!**

**Elphaba****: *stands in front of the thing***

**Doctor****: This thing is indestructible! It won't pop!**

**Elphaba****: *grabs a pair of glasses and looks at Glinda* AHHHHHH! YOU'RE GREEN, TOO!**

**Glinda****: You're wearing the Emerald City glasses, silly goose!**

**Elphaba****: Oh yeah! Would you like a pair Mizzzzzz Glinnnnnnnnn...duh!?**

**Fiyero****: *wets pants* Elphaba...Are you okay?**

**Glinda****: *runs backstage* BOQ! THESE PEOPLE ARE SCARING ME!**

**Doctor****: HEY! GET BACK HERE! WE NEED TO GET YOU'RE BRAIN BACK!**

**Boq****: *is dressed as a werewolf to scare everyone* HI!**

**Glinda****: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Audience****: *dressed in alien costumes***

**Glinda****: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *ran back to the train station scene*~**

Elphaba: ***shakes Glinda awake***

Glinda: ***wakes up*** ELPHABA! ***hugs***

Elphaba: ***is hugged*** You passed out while they were examining your brain.

Glinda: WHAT!?

Elphaba: It's okay! It's okay! You had a brain all a long!

Glinda: Oh...

Elphaba: ***hugs tightly*** No worries! I'll take you to the Emerald City anyways!

Glinda: ***feels awkward*** Ummm...

Elphaba: IT'S PAYBACK! WHEN YOU SAID...** *mimicking Glinda*** I like you! ***hugs until noticing Glinda's face***

Glinda: ...

Elphaba: It's okay! WHO CARES! LET'S GO! YAY!

All: ***sings the entire song***

Elphaba: Wow...That was fast!


	13. Chapter 13

Glinda: ***nods*** Where are we?

All: OH MY GOD!

Elphaba: THE EMERALD CITY!

Glinda: Oh...

The Wizard: ***jumps out of the big head*** Hey! What can I help you with?

Elphaba & Glinda: ***screams*** AHHHHHHHHHHHH! ***runs away***

Authoress 1: Hey! BACK ON THE STAGE!

Elphaba: Not because of the sound! Because of that bomb!

Head: ***explodes***

Wizard: OH! Sorry!

Glinda: ***runs to Boq***

Elphaba & Glinda: ***went back on stage***

Elphaba: YOU'RE REALLY THE WIZARD?!

Wizard: Yes!

Elphaba: ***screams for 5 minutes and faints***

Glinda: ***runs back to Boq due to screaming***

Authoress 1: CUT IT OUT!

Boq: Okay! ***cuts in front of Elphaba's mouth with a scissors***

Authoress 2: NOT LITERALLY, YOU IDIOT!

Fiyero: I'M AN IDIOT!

Authoresses: WE KNOW!

Glinda: I thought this was supposed to be a romantic comedy?

Boq: Yeah!

Authoress 1: Not between you two!

Glinda: Surprise!

Elphaba: In between Fiyero and I?

Authoresses: Yes!

Elphaba: DANG! ANYWAY! SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS HAPP...

Wizard: I KNOW IT!

George: ***runs in***

Elphaba: AHHHHHHHH! MONKEY! HI MONKEY!

Wizard: This is Geroge! He's very curious! And cute!

George: ***kisses Elphaba***

Fiyero: HEY! AWAY FROM MY...

Elphaba: Fiyero! He's just a monkey! Are you thinking of green monkeys?

Fiyero: NO...

Glinda: Awww!

George: ***went to Glinda and kisses***

Glinda: ***giggles***

Boq: ***get's a little jealous***

George: ***runs to Boq to kiss***

Boq:** *feels a little creeped out***

Wizard: ...And friendly!

M.M.: ***comes in***

Elphaba: Oh no...

Boq: ***holds Glinda***

Glinda: ***holds Boq***

Elphaba: Ummmm...Galinda?

M.M.: HELLO! HELLO! Fancy free seeing you here!

Glinda: IT'S GLINDA! Huh?

M.M.: Glinda...Hello!

Glinda: Oh! HI!

Elphaba: Oh gee! Oz save me!

M.M.: I'm the press secretary! DUH!

Authoress 2: Gee! First a headmistress, now a press secretary!? How many jobs do you have?!

M.M.: I have 10!

Elphaba: Wow! Busy lady!

M.M.: Except I've been fired at some of them!

Glinda: ***still clinging to Boq***

Boq: ***still clinging to Glinda***

M.M.: I thought you could use this! ***has a book***

Elphaba: Is it _"Bras and Broomsticks"_!?

Fiyero: ***feels bad for running over the book***

Glinda & Boq: ***holds hands while no one's looking***

M.M.: ***smiles awkwardly*** No!...It's The Grimmerie!

Elphaba: Really?

Wizard: ***sings his song***

Glinda: ***is a little creeped out***

Boq: ***holds Glinda***

Elphaba: GIMME! ***grabs a book did a spell and hears George screaming***

Chistery: ***runs on stage screaming***

Elphaba: WRONG MONKEY! WHERE'S THE CUTE ONE THAT KISSES?

Glinda & Boq: ***cling to each other again***

Authoress 2: ***to Boq*** WILL YOU GET OFF THE STAGE! YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THIS SCENE!

Boq: YES I AM!

Authoress 2: NO YOU'RE NOT!

Boq: YES! I AM!

Authoress 2: NO! YOU ARE NOT!

Boq: Fine! ***to Glinda*** See you at intermission! ***kisses and leaves***

Glinda: ***kisses Boq back and waves*** Bye! ***to Authoresses*** Neither is Fiyero!

Fiyero: ***leaves***

Monkeys: ***scream and grow wings***

Elphaba: OH NO! I WANT AN AIRPLANE! NOT A MONKEY BAT!

Glinda: AHHH!

M.M.: SHE HAD MAGIC ALL ALONG! I KNEW IT!

Elphaba: You did all this!? ***to the wizard*** And you! CAGES? SPIES? WINGS? PAINFULNESS? ***gasps*** YOU BOTH SET ME UP! I'M OUTTA HERE! ***runs off stage with a grimmerie***

Glinda: ELPHIE! WAIT ON ME! ***runs after her***

Wizard: FIND HER! AND BRING HER BACK TO ME!

Gale Force: YES SIR! ***runs off***

Wizard: The other way you morons!

Gale Force: Oh yeah! ***runs the other way***


	14. Chapter 14

Elphaba: ***runs to a room being followed by Glinda and locks the door***

Glinda: Why did you lock the door!? Are we gonna party?

Authoress 1: NO!

Glinda: Shiz...

Elphaba: I need a way to barricade the door! ***finds a broom...which was a mop*** I'll use this!

Authoress 2: HOLD IT! Elphaba! That's a mop! You need a broomstick!

Elphaba: SERIOUSLY!? ***finds a broom and blocks the door***

Glinda: ***puts CD player away***

Authoress 1: Where did you even get that CD player?

Glinda: The mall! It was on sale!

Elphaba: Seriously?

Glinda: Seriously! ***changes the subject*** Why are we barricading the doors?

All: ***hears the door slamming***

Elphaba: THAT'S WHY!

Glinda: Oh! I forgot to tell you! They're coming to get you!

Elphaba: Yes! I heard!

Authoress 1: GET ON WITH IT!

Elphaba: ***sings the whole two verses*** WOW! THAT WAS FAST! ***opens the book and reads and does a spell***

Glinda: ***whines* **I DON'T WANT TO GROW WINGS!

Elphaba: NO! I DO!

Glinda: Oh...

Elphaba: Hey! WHERE ARE MY WINGS! ***sees a broom levitating with smoke*** Cool! On second thought! Broom would be nice!

Glinda: Oooh!

Elphaba: Hey! Come on! Let's go! Think of what we could possibly do...Together!

Glinda: You don't want to come to my engagement party? ***cries***

Elphaba: YOU BLONDE! DO YOU WANT ME KILLED?

Glinda: NO! BUT YOU CAN WATCH FROM THE SKY!

Elphaba: I don't know!

Guards: ***come in***

Elphaba: ***went on the machine and went in the air singing***

Glinda: I miss you already!

Guards: Get out of here Glinda!

Glinda: NOOOOO!

Guards:** *start to drag her out***

Glinda: ***cries***

Boq: ***swings on a rope and falls in*** LET THE PRETTY BLONDE GIRL GO!

Guards: ***lets her go***

Glinda:** *clings onto Boq and cries***

Elphaba:

_BRING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DOWN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !_

All:

_DDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW NNNNNNNNNNNN_!

**~lights flicker off~**

Elphaba: Wow! That was fast!

Glinda: TACO TIME!

Boq: ***grabs Glinda's hand and runs with her to get some food***

Elphaba: NAP TIME!

Fiyero: PRETTY GOODNESS TIME!


	15. Chapter 15

Glinda:** *comes out in Thank Goodness dress and Boq is by her side***

Authoress 2: GLINDA! YOU HAVE TO BE WITH FIYERO!

Glinda: ... WHY?

Authoress 1: THE SCRIPT SAYS SO! DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!

Glinda: OKAY! FINE!

Fiyero: ***whispers to Glinda*** Are you okay!?

**_~music starts~_**

Glinda: ***nods*** Yes, I'm fine. Are you okay?

Fiyero: CRAZY! The fans sneaked in my dressing room while I was changing into this! And when I saw them, I was taking my golden underwear off, and they freaked! And then I quickly changed before the fans attacked me!

Glinda: ... Nice...

**_~music stops~_**

Authoress 1: Glinda! It's your turn to sing!

Glinda: Huh? OH! ***forgets words*** Uhhh...

Fiyero: Are you sure you're okay?

Glinda: Yeah... Ummm...

_CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE! JACK FROST NIPPING AT YOUR NOSE! YULETIDE BEING SUNG BY A CHOIR AND FOLKS DRESSED UP LIKE ESKIMOS!_

Authoress 1: Wrong song!

Glinda: Sorry! I forgot the words to the other one!

Authoress 2: GET TO THE ENGAGEMENT ALREADY!

Ozian: You're engaged?

Fancy Ozian: CONGRATULATIONS!

Glinda: WHAT?! WHO AM I ENGAGED TO?

Nessa: ***backstage*** FIYERO, YOU DUMB BLONDE! C'MON!

Glinda: ***has panic attack*** WHY?!

Authoress 1: The script says that! SO DO IT! OR YOU'RE FIRED!

Glinda: ***cries*** FINE!

M.M.: ***comes in***

Glinda & Fiyero: ***mumbles*** Not again!

M.M.: ***sings***

Fiyero: Why is she here? I hate her looks! Far worse than Elphaba...Where is she anyways? I invited her!

Nessa: She's taking a nap in her room! Just leave her!

Glinda: SHHHHHHHHHHH! ***whispers*** Don't even mention her today, okay? We could get in a whole lot of trouble. I invited her too, but she could easily be caught!

Fiyero: Oh! Okay! Actually! I think she's dead! Mind if I...

Nessa: No!

Glinda: Yes! SHUT UP NESSA!

Fiyero: I'm looking to see if she's dead already!

All:

_GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!_

Authoress 2: SHE'S NOT DEAD YET YOU IDIOTS!

Glinda: She's not, Fiyero!

All: Dang! Then...

_GOOD NEWS! ENGAGED! THE PRINCE AND GLINDA ENGAGED!_

Authoress 1: SHUT UP!

Glinda: *screams*

All: ***shut up due to overly emotional Glinda***

Glinda: THANK YOU! I'M NOT ENGAGED! Yet...

All: Whatever! Then...

Fiyero: I'm going to check on Elphaba to make sure if she's dead!** *leaves***

Glinda: Okay! Bye! ***runs offstage for Boq*** I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER! TODAY!

Authoress 2: Boq! GET READY FOR YOUR SCENE! YOU'RE NESSA'S PERSONAL SERVANT!

Boq: ***mumbles*** Shit...

Glinda: ***whispers*** No worries! I'll save you!

Boq: Okay!


	16. Chapter 16

Nessa: GET OVER HERE NOW!

Boq: Yes, Mistress?

Glinda: ***hides in wardrobe by herself in Nessa's castle***

Fiyero: Glinda! Be Elphaba! Change! Quick!

Glinda: No! I have to do something! I made a promise!

Fiyero: Who cares!? The authoresses are totally annoying! Trust me! Elphaba is dead! She's snoring like crazy! Please! I'll get her before the love scene! I can't do it without her! Please handle it!

Glinda: ***snaps fingers*** I GOT DIS, BRUH!

Fiyero: GOOD GIRL! GO GO GO GO! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

Glinda: ***doesn't change, but jumps out of the closet right behind Nessa without her noticing***

Fiyero: What the hell are you doing?

Glinda: ***upset*** THANKS! YOU RUINED IT!

Fiyero: ***grabs her and runs offstage*** I thought you're going to be acting Elphaba! C'MON!

Glinda: BBBOOOQQQ!** *screams*** I had a plan!

Boq: ***does Nessa's orders and ran backstage***

Nessa: Well! What else!?

Authoress 1: WHERE'S ELPHABA!?

Glinda: ***yells from backstage*** TAKING A NAP! WHAT DO YOU THINK? PLAYING BINGO?

Authoress 1: Again? Please wake her up!

Fiyero: No! Let the angel sleep!

Boq: ***grabs Glinda out of Fiyero's arms and holds her*** Are you okay?

Glinda: Yes! I just miss you!

Boq: Awww! ***holds Glinda tight***

Fiyero: Authoresses! Leave her alone to rest! Poor thing!

Nessa: ***wheels herself backstage*** What is goi... WHAT? BOQ!

Boq: ***runs away***

Glinda: ***doesn't attempt to run after him, because she would just be running away her self from a non violent person*** Yes, Nessa?

Nessa: ...Whatever ***rolls away near a fire***

Boq: NESSA! ARE YOU BLIND!? YOU'RE GOING TO GET BURNED!

Glinda: ... WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Nessa: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY SHOES ARE FLAMMABLE! ***rolls quickly on stage with fire all over***

Glinda: Umm... All shoes are flammable...

Nessa: Not the one with jewels! DUMBO! IT'S WORSE!

Authoress 1: I GOT THE WATER! ***throws it on Nessa's shoes***

Nessa: ***runs out of her chair***

Glinda:** *is confused***

Nessa: Wait a minute... Did I jump out of the chair?

Boq: ... ***realizes she can walk and mumbles*** Shit...

Authoress 2: Yes! Yes you did!

Nessa: AHHHHHHHHHHH! Wait my shoes! They're red!

Boq: More like ruby!

Glinda: I WANT YOUR SHOES!

Nessa: NO!

Elphaba: ***comes out wearily*** What's going on?

Glinda: I want Nessa's slippers so bad! ...Well! Forget it! Go back to sleep!

Elphaba: Okay. ***leaves***

Fiyero: NOOO! DON'T LEAVE! I NEED YOU!

Glinda: Wanna nap with her?

Nessa: Ewwww!

Boq: SHUT UP, NESSA!

Nessa: WHAT A MEAN THING TO SAY, BOQ!

Fiyero: ***leaves with Elphaba***

Boq: I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!

Glinda: Yes Sweets? ***listens***

Authoress 2: I'm going to get tacos!** *leaves***

Boq: I LOVE...GLINDA! SHE'S A ROYAL PINK FAIRY PRINCESS WITCH! SHE SMELLS OF STRAWBERRIES! HER LIPS TASTE LIKE BERRIES, TOO! I'LL RESCUE HER WHEN SHE'S IN TROUBLE! I LOVE HER SOOOO MUCH!

Nessa: So... you came here... to tell me... that you never... ***cries*** liked... ME?! YOU BASTARD! YOU LEAD ME ON! YOU ARE SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON! YOU'RE WORSE THAN MORRIBLE! ***bawls*** NOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! ***sees that Elphaba left the Grimmerie on the stage and picks it up and turns to a page*** FINE! IF I CAN'T HAVE YOUR HEART, NO ONE CAN! ***says a random spell and turns the fans into chickens***

Chickens: BOQ BOQ BOQ BOQ BOQ!

Boq: Hey! They're calling my name!

Glinda: HE'S MY BOQ!

Authoress 1: This ain't good!

Nessa: Wrong spell! ***looks through page and found it and says it***

Glinda: *quickly took her shoes off* Hehe!

Boq: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HEART! MISSING! HELP HELP!

Glinda: OH NO! ***says a spell to make him feel good without a heart but is too late and does the "Tin Man" one***

Boq: ***falls asleep***

Nessa: I'm out of here!

Boq: ***wakes* **What happened? Is the scene over!

Nessa: ***craws out off stage***

Glinda: Yes! I have to go now! See you in a few, Love!

Boq: Okay!

Glinda: ***kisses Boq's metal forehead and then leaves***

Boq: ***waves***

Fiyero: ***comes on stage*** Okay! Elphaba is still asleep!

Boq: Hey, Fiyero!

Fiyero: I'll be right back! ***grabs a random box of chocolates from behind a prop and goes to wake Elphaba***

_**~In the dressing room~**_

Elphaba: ***out cold***

Fiyero: ***comes in*** I brought you some chocolate!

Elphaba: ***still asleep***

Fiyero: ***wakes her***

Elphaba: ***wakes slowly*** Hey!

Fiyero: Come on! Your scene's next!


	17. Chapter 17

Wizard: ***comes out*** WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL!

Elphaba:** *comes out looking for a lever***

Wizard: What are you doing?

Elphaba: HEY GET LOST! I'M SETTING THESE MONKEYS FREE!

Wizard: But why?  
_YOU COULD BE WONDERFUL!_

Elphaba: DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT I DID!? AND WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE?!

Wizard: But I don't care about the past! The past has passed!

Elphaba: DID YOU LEARN HAKUNA MATATA? YOU SHOULDN'T! IT'S KINDA CREEPY!

Wizard: Oh...

Elphaba: YOU DID!

Wizard: ...

Elphaba: How could you! THAT'S CREEPY!

Wizard: Okay... ***runs off stage***

Elphaba: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!?

Wizard: TO THE BATHROOM!

Authoress 1: ***gags*** Next time! Don't use that bathroom!

Wizard: ...

Elphaba: ***uncomfy*** UGH!

Wizard: I'M BAA-AACCK!

_**~backstage~**_

Glinda: ***eats a romantic meal with Boq***

Authoress 2: ***comes backstage*** TACOS I SEE! NICE!

Glinda: That's Elphie's! We're having Spaghetti!

Elphaba: ***comes over*** FOR ME?!

Boq: They are!

Elphaba: ***takes one* **THANKS! OLAY!** *eats and went back on stage***

Boq & Glinda: ***continue eating***

_**~on stage~**_

Wizard**:**  
_WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL!_

Elphaba: BOY! WHAT AN ANNOYING WORD!

Wizard: ***accidentally pulls lever while singing***

Monkeys: ***comes out***

Elphaba: YAY!

Wizard: NO FAIR!

Elphaba: GO FLY! YOU'RE FREE! ***cackles***

**_~meanwhile~_**

Boq & Glinda: ***stares into each others eyes then lay down on the couch in Glinda's dressing room***

Boq: I'm so glad you're not Nessa!

Glinda: I'm so glad you're not Fiyero!

Boq: ***kisses Glinda on the cheek, gazes into her eyes, and kisses her on the lips***

Glinda: ***kisses back and soon falls asleep after***

Boq: ***falls asleep just after Glinda***

**_~on stage~_**

Fiyero: ***comes in with a gun and D.D. in cloth***

Wizard: ...

Elphaba: OH! Another monkey? ***takes cloth off***

Fiyero: ELPHABA! DON'T!

D.D.: BAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAA!

Elphaba: I don't believe it!

Fiyero: ***slaps forehead***

Elphaba: I thought he went on vacation! THIS IS A VACATION!?

D.D.: BAAAAAAAAAAA!

Wizard: ***tilts head sideways***

Elphaba: DR. DILLAMOND! CAN'T YOU SPEAK?

Authoress 1: HE CAN'T! HE LOST HIS POWERS!

Elphaba: Well, that sucks! I guess you won't be able to grade my History paper now...

Authoress 2: I'll do it! ***grades*** A+!

Elphaba: Oh! Thank you!

Glinda: ***backstage*** WHAT ABOUT MINE?

Authoress 2: It's an...b!

Glinda: YAY!

Authoress 2: Minus..

Glinda: Crap!

D.D.: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Elphaba: HE CAN'T SPEAK? EVER?

Wizard: I don't think so.

Elphaba:** *gets mad*** I DON'T TRUST YOU! AT ALL! YOU'RE DEAD!

Authoress 2:** *leaves***

_**~meanwhile backstage~**_

Boq & Glinda: ***still napping***

Nessa: ***is apparently not dead*** WHAT THE HELL, BOQ!

Boq: ***woke startled*** NESSA! I HATE YOU! I WAS ABOUT TO SAY I DO, BUT YOU WOKE ME! DAMN YOU!

Glinda: ***wakes tiredly*** Huh?

Boq: It's okay Hon! Go back to sleep! Nessa is being an idiot!

Nessa: ***leaves***

Glinda: Okay! ***falls back asleep in Boq's arm***

Boq: ***falls back asleep***

_**~on stage~**_

Elphaba: ***puts in bars where the flying monkeys were***

Wizard: ***stands there with the funniest face ever*** What are you doing, Elphaba?

Elphaba: Putting you in there for doing this to me!

Fiyero: ***comes in*** HOLD IT RIGHT THERE LADY!

Elphaba: YERO! ***runs and hugs***

Fiyero: FAE! YOU'RE OKAY!

Wizard: YOU KNOW HER?

Fiyero: Noooo... I just went to school with her for 4 years and fell in love with her. YES I KNOW HER YOU BUFFOON!

Boq & Glinda: ***wake up and goes onstage***

Glinda: What's going on?

Wizard: I don't know. What do you think, Galinda?

Glinda: IT'S GLINDA!

Wizard: WHATEVER! WILL YA LET ME OUT?!

Fiyero: I say... NO! BECAUSE THIS IS MY CHANCE TO TELL EVERYONE! ESPECIALLY YOU THREE! I! LOVE! ELPHABA!

Glinda: AWWWWWWWWWWWW! HOW CUTE!

Fiyero: And you're not yelling at me?

Glinda: No... Why would I? You silly goose! ***giggles***

Elphaba: I thought you loved him?

Boq: No! I love her!

Fiyero: And I love Elphaba! Soooo much!

Elphaba: Wait a second... WHY ARE WE DOING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Glinda: Doing what?

Elphaba, Fiyero, & Boq: Falling in love with the wrong person!

Authoress 1: ***was crying*** Who set you guys up into a couple arrangement?

Glinda: YOUR BOSSY PARTNER OF YOURS!

Fiyero: You should really make her go to taco bell for a long time!

Glinda: She's a super silly goose!

Boq: ***laughs at the way Glinda is talking***

Elphaba: Well! We had a wonderful stage reunion! Don't you think?

Wizard: Yes!

Elphaba: I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU SON OF A BISCUIT EATING BULLDOG!

Fiyero: Mind if we?

Elphaba: ***gentle*** Of course! To the forest!

Fiyero: See ya! *leaves with Elphaba*

Boq: ***takes Glinda's hand and looks at her*** And now we have the stage to ourselves!

M.M.: ***comes in*** What's going on here?

Glinda: SERIOUSLY? WHENEVER WE ARE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING, YOU COME BY! DAMMIT!

M.M.: The script told me to come!

Glinda: DAMN YOU SCRIPT WRITERS! DAMN YOU!

Boq: What do you want you big fat M&M?

M.M.: I can't believe she was here! I want her back here or something so she'll be sorry!

Glinda: Who was here?

M.M.: Elphaba! We need a trap!

Boq: HOW ABOUT HER SISTER! BECAUSE I WANT HER GONE! SHE'S ANNOYING!

Glinda: ***nods*** I agree! Nessa has to be the most annoying one here today!

M.M.: OKAY! Then I'll cook her with a storm! ***hears a tornado coming*** Ahhh! I love the sound of this!

Boq & Glinda: YAY!

M.M.: ***cackles***

Boq: ***is creeped out*** Wanna nap in the dressing room, Glinda?

Glinda: ***nods tiredly***

Boq: Good! ***sweeps Galinda off of her feet and carries her offstage***

M.M.: ***walks off stage***


	18. Chapter 18

Fiyero: ***comes onstage with Elphaba*** Here's a good spot! Isn't this romantic!?

Elphaba: Why yes it is! ***sits down, along with Fiyero***

Fiyero: ***holds out a taco*** Taco?

Elphaba: Yes please! I haven't eaten in a while! ***takes it and quickly shoves it down her throat***

Fiyero: WOW! You really were hungry!

Elphaba: Got another taco?

Fiyero: Ummm... Right here! ***hands her another taco***

Elphaba: OH OZ! THANKS! ***does the same as she did with the last one*** MORE?!

Fiyero: Elphaba, I can't keep feeding you tacos! First you're super tired, and now super hungry?

Elphaba: YES! MORE!? Til' I pass out!

Fiyero: ***smacks forehead*** It's the last one! ***hands it to her***

Elphaba: ***obviously does the same*** MMMMMMMM! MORE!?

Boq: ***goes onstage with a box of them*** I WANNA SEE YOU PLAY _"THE HUNGER GAMES"_! GO  
ELPHABA!

Glinda: ***goes onstage behind Boq* **Don't you mean _"The Full Games"_?

Elphaba: MAY THE ODDS [ALWAYS] BE IN YOUR FAVOR!

Glinda: ***whispers to Boq*** I wonder how long those tacos will last?

Fans: GO GO GO!

Elphaba: ***eats tacos***

Fiyero, Glinda, & Boq: ...

_**~30 minutes later~**_

Elphaba: ***eats all the tacos but one and feels sick***

Glinda: I'm going to go now... I don't want to see what happens... ***runs off stage***

Boq: ***follows Glinda offstage***

Elphaba: ***ate her last taco***

Fiyero: YAY!

Fan #1: YOU BROKE THE WORLD RECORD FOR EATING 1,000 TACOS!

Fiyero: YAY!

Elphaba: ***yawns and lays head on Fiyero's lap because she's sleepy and full***

Fiyero: ***kisses her forehead***

_**~music plays~**_

Authoress 2: ***has been gone for the longest time and finally comes back***

Authoress 1: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

Authoress 2: On my dinner date! Duh!

Authoress 1: WELL! YOU MISSED ELPHABA'S WORLD RECORD! AND EVERYTHING ELSE!

Authoress 2: What happened?

Authoress 1: Oh! Elphaba fell in love with Fiyero while Boq fell in love with Glinda!

Authoress 2: WHAT?! I'M SOOOOOO FIRING THEM!

Authoress 1: Actually it's part of the script!

Authoress 2: Oh...

Authoress 1: But I didn't mention that Glinda fell in love with Boq and they keep getting interrupted by everyone!

Authoress 2: Good!

_**~music ends~**_

Elphaba: ***falls asleep after singing and kissing***

Fiyero: ***looks up***

Authoress 1: I love this job!

_**~meanwhile backstage~**_

Boq: ***turns on romantic music and dances with Glinda***

Glinda: ***giggles***

Boq: ***puts finger over Glinda's lips and whispers*** Shush shush! We shall not get interrupted this time!

Glinda: ***smiles and nods***

Boq: ***changes the song to****_ "I'll Cover You"_**** from ****_RENT_*******

Glinda & Boq: ***sing together***

_**~onstage~**_

Elphaba: ***wakes*** Mmmmmmmm! ***yawns*** Yero?

Fiyero: Fae?

Elphaba: Anything happen while I ***yawns*** napped?

Fiyero: No.

Authoress 1: Are you okay?

Elphaba: I'M FINE! I'm not really full! And I didn't eat the tacos! I swallowed them and the disappeared somewhere in my stomach! And I napped because I'm still tired!

Authoress 1: Oh... Are you pregnant?

Elphaba: ***hears something***

Fiyero: Are you okay, Fae?

Elphaba: I HEAR SOMETHING!

Fiyero: What is it?

Elphaba: I HEAR... MY SISTER! SCREAMING!

Fiyero: Oh goodness! ***helps Elphaba up***

_**~meanwhile~**_

Boq: ***still dancing with Glinda***

Nessa: BOQ! GLINDA IS CHEATING ON YOU!

Boq: Is this true?

Glinda: No! Who would I even do anything with besides you? I don't like any other person like that!

Boq: ***leave furiously***

Nessa: IT'S TRUE! I SWEAR, BOQ! I SWEAR TO ALL OF OZ! ***house drops on her***

Glinda: ***cries and runs off*** WHY AM I ALWAYS IN SOME ARGUMENT!?


	19. Chapter 19

_**~Nessa and house get dragged onto the stage and Glinda gives sympathy~**_

Elphaba: ***walks onto stage*** Well, look who it is! It's my dear old friend Glinda! How are you doing?

Glinda: Well I'm doing just grand! Thank you very much! How are you doing?

Elphaba: I am doing goo- OH MY OZ! IS THAT NESSA?!

Glinda: ***nods*** Yes...

Elphaba: That's the best she's looked in years! Did you give her a makeover?

Glinda: Well... Ummm... Madame Morrible did...

Elphaba: I never knew she was a brilliant artist!

Glinda: Me either until she dropped this house on her.

Elphaba: But something's missing!

Glinda: OH! I took her shoes like two or three scenes ago! I wanted them...

Elphaba: You know Nessa... always wanting what she can't have...

Glinda: Yeah...

Elphaba: So... umm... what did you do with those shoes?

Glinda: OH! I have them right here! ***hands her shoes***

Elphaba: Oh! I don't want them!

Glinda: But I saved them just for you! ***holds them closer to Elphaba***

Elphaba: I'm serious! I don't want them!

Glinda: ***furious*** KEEP THEM!

Elphaba: NO!

Glinda: FINE! I'LL JUST GIVE THEM TO THAT RATCHET FARM BRAT! ***yells into space*** HEY! DORA! GET BACK HERE! ***runs to give Dorothy shoes***

Elphaba: NOOOO!

Authoress 2: I'm done! ***gathers things and leaves***

Glinda: ***gets about half way across the stage and turns around furious*** What did you just say?

Elphaba: I just told you, "NO!"

Glinda: ***clenches wand and then smacks Elphaba plain across the face***

Elphaba: Feel better?

Glinda: ***frowns*** Yes!

Elphaba: Good! ***smacks Glinda***

Glinda: ***screams***

Elphaba: ***wacks Glinda in the head with the straw end of her broom***

Glinda: ***stumbles, but manages to get her wand out and twirls it around***

Fiyero: ***burst in through the wall on a Wrecking Ball*** I'M GONNA WRECK IT!

Elphaba & Glinda: ***stand there staring***

Fiyero: What? You've never seen a man on a Wrecking Ball before?

Glinda: ***looks at wall that was destroyed by Fiyero's stupidness*** I CAN FIX IT! ***closes eyes, waves wand in the air, and says the magic words*** There!** *opens eyes to see the mass destruction of the wall still there*** ... I suck at magic...

Fiyero: Yes. Yes you do.

Elphaba: ***nods***


	20. Chapter 20

Fiyero: ***jumps off of the Wrecking Ball and looks at the wall*** ...

Guards: ***walk on stage and grabs Elphaba***

Glinda: What are you doing? She didn't do anything! That moron made the wall fall down!

Guards: ***drop Elphaba and grab Fiyero*** Any last words, Fiyero?

Fiyero: Yes. ***looks at Elphaba and Glinda*** I just want you guys to know that everything always works out for the best.

Elphaba: Why do you say that?

Fiyero: Because that's my motto. "Everything always works out for the best!" I got it off of a T.V. show!

Glinda: That explains why you're so dumb.

Elphaba: GLINDA! SHUT UP!

Fiyero: Well, I guess this is goodbye.

Glinda: ***sniffles and runs backstage remembering the fight she had with Boq***

Elphaba: ***hugs Fiyero tight*** I'll remember your motto, Fiyero. Forever.

Fiyero: Just remember that I love you! ***gets taken away by guards and is hung on a wooden post***

Elphaba: ***runs away***


	21. Chapter 21

Elphaba:  
FIYEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !

Fiyero: Yes!

Authoress 1: Shut up! You're supposed to be dead!

Fiyero: Oh!

Elphaba: ***chants***  
_ELEKA NAHMEN NAHMEN  
AH TUM AH TUM ELEKA ELEKA  
UGH!_

Fiyero: What are you saying?

Authoress 1: SHUT UP!

Fiyero: ***acts dead***

Elphaba:  
_WHAT IS THIS CHANTING  
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M READING_

***throws book***

Audience Member: OUCH!

**_~meanwhile back stage~_**

Glinda: ***locks herself in her dressing room and cries***

Boq: ***sits in his dressing room wondering about Glinda and mutters to himself*** Boq, just go see her. Just man up!** *gets up and walks over to Glinda's dressing room and knocks on the door*** Glinny?

Glinda: ***is startled by the knock on her door, grabs a tissue, and goes to open the door*** Boq?

Boq: Are you okay?

Glinda: ***shrugs*** I guess... ***tears up***

Boq: ***hugs Glinda tight*** I'm sorry for getting mad at you. I really am. I should have believed you. Why did I listen to Nessa? Where is she anyways? I haven't seen her in the la-

Glinda: ***interrupts*** Nessa died, Boq. She died.

Boq: ***is shocked*** What?

Glinda: Right after you left. I feel really bad for wanting her dead. ***cries*** I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

Boq: ***holds her tight***

_**~on stage~**_

Elphaba:  
_LET HIS FLESH NOT BE TORN  
LET HIS BLOOD LEAVE NO STAIN  
WHEN THEY FEED HIM  
LET IT NOT BE MY BRAIN_

AHHHHHHHHH! What is this song?!

Authoress 1: It's _"No Good Deed"_.

Elphaba: Well it's confusing me!

Fiyero: Me too! When do I come in?

Authoress 1: You don't, Fiyero.

Fiyero: ***doesn't understand*** Why?

Elphaba: ***attempts to start song over*** FIYEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fiyero: WHAT!?

Authoress 1: SHUT THE HELL UP, FIYERO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!

Fiyero: ***pouts***

Elphaba: ***runs to Fiyero and comforts him***

Authoress 1: GET AWAY FROM HIM!

Elphaba: NO!

Fiyero: ***hugs Elphaba and cries*** Elphaba! You're melting!

Elphaba: No I'm not!** *looks at hand*** I'M BEING DEGREENIFIED!

Authoress 1: Elphaba! Go to your dressing room!

Elphaba: ***runs off stage with joy*** YEEEEEEE!


	22. Chapter 22

Boq & Glinda: ***come out on stage and sing ****_"As Long As You're Mine"_*******

Elphaba & Fiyero: ***hear them from Elphaba's dressing room*** Hey! That's our song!

Authoress 1: WRONG SONG YOU DUMBASSES! GLINDA! GET OFF THE STAGE! BOQ YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TIN!

Glinda & Boq: ***whines*** Noooooooo!

Authoress 1: ***glares*** FINE! BUT YOU HAVE TO SING YOUR SONG!

Boq: Why?

Authoress 1: JUST SING THE DAMN SONG!

Boq: FINE!

_**~music plays~**_

Ensemble: Why do we have all of this stuff?

Boq: ***sings***  
_IT'S DUE TO HER I'M MADE OF TIN_  
_HER SPELL MADFE THIS OCCUR_  
_FOR ONCE I'M GLAD I'M HEARTLESS_  
_I'LL BE HEARTLESS KILLING HER_

Wait... I don't want to kill anyone!

Authoress 1: Good god! You're all Witch Hunters! And you're supposed to kill the witch!

Witch Hunter #1: WHAT?! We can't kill people! That's illegal!

Authoress 1: Not in real life, Dumbass!

Boq: Who's the witch?

Authoress 1: ELPHABA! SHE'S THE WITCH!

Boq: WHAT? SHE'S A WITCH?! ***smiles in amazement*** NO WAY!

Glinda: WHAT?! NO WONDER SHE CAN FLY!

Authoress 1: ***smacks forehead*** You guys were already supposed to know this!

Boq: ***grabs Glinda's hand***

Elphaba: ***after hearing this, comes out on stage*** I'm a witch?

Boq & Glinda: ***nods in amazement*** Uh-huh!

Elphaba: ***smiles in amazement*** NO WAY!

Witch Hunters: What are we supposed to do?

M.M.: ***comes in***

Glinda: ***screams and goes up to M.M. and grabs her shoulders*** WHY DO YOU ALWAYS COME IT AT THE WORST TIME!?

M.M.: I'm supposed to be here!

Boq: ***shakes head*** Nooooo...

M.M.: ***nods*** Yes...

Boq: ***shakes head*** Nooooo...

Glinda: Can I change my name back to GA-linda?

Authoress 1: Screw this! ***yells into a megaphone*** NEXT SCENE PLEASE!


	23. Chapter 23

Elphaba: ***paces*** Why don't I hear crying?

Authoress 1: No one wanted to be Dorothy.

Elphaba: Oh... ***looks at a little girl in the audience*** You! Get you're little self over here! You're gonna be Dorothy! ***throws her in the trap door***

Little Girl: ***cries*** I WANT MY MOMMY!

Elphaba: YOU CAN HAVE HER AFTER I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!

Glinda: *comes on stage* I like your castle, Elphie! Who's crying?

Elphaba: It's doesn't matter. Why are you here?

Glinda: They said I was supposed to sing with you! ***hugs*** YAY!

Elphaba: Go away...

_**~music starts~**_

Elphaba: I mean it...

Glinda: Okay! Bye! ***leaves stage*** BOQ! WE'VE BEEN PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK FOR 45 MINUTES! YOU HAVE TO COME OUT SOONER OR LATER!

Elphaba: WAIT! I WANNA PLAY!

Chistery: ***hands Elphaba a letter***

Elphaba: ***reads letter and cries*** GLINDA! COME BACK! ***bawls***

Glinda: ***runs back on stage*** What's wrong, Elphie?

Elphaba: HE'S GONE! ***gives Glinda letter***

Glinda: WHAT? ***grabs letter and reads*** No... He's not.. ***points at smaller writing on letter*** See?

Elphaba: Then where is he? I invited him over!

Authoress 1: He's in his dressing room getting ready for the next scene! Don't bother him! He wants to surprise you!

Elphaba: Okay! Give me a hint of what he's wearing!

Authoress 1: Do you know what the _"Wizard of Oz"_ is?

Elphaba & Glinda: ***shake heads*** Nooooo...

Authoress 1: Never mind then! Move along!

Elphaba: ***cries*** You're the only friend I ever had!

Glinda: ***cries***

**_~music stops~_**

Authoress 1: Play the song again!

_**~music plays again~**_

Glinda:  
_BECAUSE I KNEW YOU_

Elphaba:  
_BECAUSE I KNEW YOU_

Glinda & Elphaba:  
_I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR FOOD_

Authoress 1: GOOD! THE WORD IS GOOD!

Glinda: Really? WE MESSED UP! ***cries*** I'm hungry now..

Elphaba: Me too... but I have to die now... *hugs Glinda crying*

Glinda: ***hugs and cries*** NOOOO!

Elphaba: ***walks behind curtain and waits for the little girl she threw in the trap door***


	24. Chapter 24

Glinda: ***cries***

Little Girl: ***has bucket of water***

Elphaba: I'm ready!

Little Girl: ***throws bucket of water on her***

Elphaba: ***screams*** I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!

Glinda: ***bawls***

Little Girl: No you're not! Your green just came off... ***smiles*** You're pretty!

Elphaba: *looks at hands* I'M DEGREENIFIED! ***hugs little girl*** Thank You! Thank you so much!** *runs back out in front of curtain to see Glinda crying*** What's wrong, Glinda?

Glinda: Elphie, You die- ***looks up and smiles*** YOU'RE ALIVE! AND NOT GREEN! OMG! YAAAAY!

Elphaba: ***hugs Glinda***

Glinda: ***hugs Elphaba***

Elphaba: I'VE CHANGED FOR GOOD! I KNOW WHAT THAT SONG MEANS NOW!

Glinda: YAY!

Authoress 1: Elphaba! You have to go through the trap door in the back!

Elphaba: ***whines*** WHY?!

Authoress 1: I'll get Fiyero to come and get you!

Elphaba: OKAY! I'll see ya later later Glinny!

Glinda: OKAY! BYE!


	25. Chapter 25

Fiyero: ***knocks on the trapdoor Elphaba went into***

Elphaba: Hello? Who is it?

Fiyero: It's me! Fiyero!

Elphaba: ***opens door*** Oh! Thank God!

Fiyero: ***helps her up and smiles*** You're not green any more!

Elphaba: ***smiles*** I KNOW!

Glinda: ***comes in on bubble***

Elphaba: HEY GLINDA!

Glinda: HEY ELPHIE!

Authoress 1: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SPEAK TO EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN!

Glinda & Elphaba: ***whines*** WHY!?

Authoress 1: BECAUSE!

**_~music starts~_**

Glinda: ANOTHER SONG?!

Elphaba: WHAT?!

Glinda: Forget this! ***sees ozians*** Elphie! Act dead!

Elphaba: ***acts dead***

Glinda: ***cries***


	26. Chapter 26

_**~flashback ends~**_

Glinda: ***to ozians*** And that's is how it all happened... That mean lady telling me what to do!

Ozian: So... She's not dead?

**Another Ozian**: WE SANG THAT SONG FOR NOTHING!

**~Backstage~**

Fiyero: Elphaba? I have something to ask.

Elphaba: Yes?

Fiyero: We've liked each other for the last 2 hours. Would.. would you marry me?

Elphaba: YES! ***hugs Fiyero***

Fiyero: ***puts a ring on her finger***

Elphaba & Fiyero: ***walk out onto stage holding hands***

Glinda & Ozians: Hey Elphaba! Hey Fiyero!

Elphaba & Fiyero: Hey!

Glinda: Just in time!

Fiyero: For what?

Glinda: For my birthday party! Duh!

Elphaba: You didn't know today was her birthday?

Glinda: Fiyero, we have known each other for almost 3 hours. ***sniffles*** And you don't know when my birthday is?!

Fiyero: You never told me! I would have bought you something! ***remembers he had an unopened box of chocolates*** Wait! I'll be right back! ***runs backstage to get them***

Glinda:** *notices the ring on Elphaba's finger*** Where'd you get the ring?

Fiyero: ***returns and gives Glinda her box of chocolates***

Glinda: What's this for?

Fiyero: You birthday?

Glinda: Oh yeah! Thank you!

Fiyero: You're welcome!

Elphaba: Glinda. I need to tell you something!

Glinda: What is it?

Boq: ***enters stage behind Galinda***

Elphaba: Fiyero and I... are going to be married!

Fiyeraba Fans: YEEEESSSSSSS!

Glinda: ***angry*** THAT'S MY LINE! ***excited*** WHEN?!

Fiyero: This fall!

Glinda: I'm so excited for you two! CONGRATUBILATIONS!

Elphaba: But we're moving!

Glinda: NOOOOOOOOO!  
THINK OF ME  
THINK OF ME FONDLY  
WHEN WE'VE SAID GOODBYE

I'M CHANGING MY NAME BACK TO GA-LINDA! FOR YOU GUYS!

Fiyero & Elphaba: Awww! How thoughtful!


	27. Chapter 27

Galinda: CHANGING MY NAME BACK IS THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

Boq: Galinda?

Galinda: You always get my name right! ***gets out of bubble and hugs Boq***

Boq: ***hugs Galinda and then kisses her right on the lips***

Audience: ***gasps***

Glinyero Fan: Galinda! What are you gonna do? He just kissed you! EWWWW!

Galinda: I'm gonna kiss him back! ***kisses Boq***

Boq: Ummm, Galinda, I have something to ask you.

Elphaba & Fiyero: ***nudge each other because they know what's happening***

Galinda: What is it, dearest?

Boq: ***pulls a ring box out in front of him and opens it*** Will you marry me, Miss Galinda Upland?

Galinda: ***stares at the ring and starts to cry and nods slowly*** Yes... Yes!

Boq: ***slides the ring on her finger and hugs her*** Happy Birthday, my beautiful princess!

Galinda: ***cries tears of joy*** THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

Elphaba: I thought changing your name was.

Galinda: ***still hugging Boq*** I LIED!

Boq:** *kisses Galinda***

Galinda: ***kisses Boq back***

Authoress 1: ***puts hand on forehead and yells into megaphone to the audience*** We will refund your money!


	28. Chapter 28

Cast: ***backstage eating cake***

Elphaba & Fiyero: ***making out in dressing room***

Galinda & Boq: ***singing ****_"All I Ask of You"_**** while eating cake***


End file.
